


Settle for Me

by acecereal



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28661499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acecereal/pseuds/acecereal
Summary: “Settle for me Darling,just settle for meI think you’ll have to agreeWe make quite a pair”- Settle for Me, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast
Relationships: Benny Watts/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 15
Collections: With Benny





	Settle for Me

_ “Beth? Why are you here in New York?” Benny said, joy apparent in his tone albeit his obvious shock. _

_ “Eh? Ah, no, I’m not Beth.” A young red-head girl awkwardly stuttered, as she turned around to look at Benny with her dark green eyes. _

_ “My name is Natasha and I am, well, a big fan of yours.” She continued, smiling sheepishly at him as she offered a hand for him to shake.  _

That was Natasha’s first meeting with one of her greatest idols, Benny Watts—she got mistaken as her favourite chess player, Beth Harmon. In a weird coincidence, Natasha looks a lot like Beth in certain angles and they are even both red-haired although Natasha’s hair color is a few shades duller than Beth’s. Like Benny and Beth, Natasha loves chess and loves joining chess competitions when she can. 

However, unlike the two, she is not really a prodigy or an expert with long experience. Instead, she’s just a regular chess player with an equal number of winnings to her losses. Yet despite that fact, months after their rather awkward meeting, she and Benny became close friends. Benny would often ask her if she likes to join chess discussions with other chess players—like now. 

Sitting cross-legs at the floor, Natasha’s full attention is on the re-enactment and discussion of Borgov’s games before he fought with Beth or at least, most of the time her focus was on it except for the few times that she couldn’t stop admiring the passionate guy called Benny who was explaining all of this to them. 

Before meeting Benny, Natasha already admired him. Well, who wouldn’t? He was a child prodigy in chess and a rather attractive guy that she would see in the magazines from time to time. However, the few months that they had spent together, made Natasha really make her see him as not just as her idol but as a real friend. Heck, maybe even more than that. After all, Benny was a very charming guy and just plain wonderful that even Natasha’s degree in English can’t help her put it into words. 

Then as if on cue, just as Natasha got lost in her own thoughts, Benny finally finished talking and walked towards her to get a glass of water at the table behind her. 

"Hey," he called out to her, his voice as chill and friendly as usual. 

"Hi, nice demonstration." She replied, trying to sound casual as she complimented him. 

"Thanks." He replied immediately, obviously used to compliments, before taking a big gulp of water. 

“Did you enjoy today’s show?” He teasingly asked her, knowing fully well how easy she gets entrance when people talk about chess—ironically, not noticing how her attention was not only on the discussion but also at him. 

“Yeah, I did.” Natasha said, trying to sound chill even though it would only take one to pay a little more attention at her to see how her ears are burning red from embarrassment. 

After that, the two of them continue watching together the next re-enactment done by another well-known chess master. From time to time, the both of them would even silently discuss it together. Although, their interaction may seem extremely mundane, Natasha’s stupid chest can’t seem to stop beating fast from happiness because of the fact she’s able to share her opinion as well as observations to her idol—and well, she also can’t deny that a part of why her heart is acting up is because she secretly feel happy about spending a simple time together with Benny as silly as it may sound. It makes her quietly hope that she’d get to spend more simple things with him...like getting some groceries together, etc. 

Blushing, Natasha turned her attention back to the discussion again, away from the Benny Watts that seems to invade her mind more often than usual today. “See? That’s why they lost. They used the Sicilian defense at him despite the fact that he is obviously more skilled than them at it.” The chess master stated.

As she was finally getting immersed in the topic, she suddenly felt her hair brushed aside her face by Benny. He always does that. Of course, Natasha doesn't mind it and the butterflies it sends to her stomach. If anything, her feelings for it would even be closer to love than hate. In response to his touch, she turned towards him and directed a questioning look at him. "Are you excited to finally meet Beth?" He asked her, grinning playfully as he did so. Maybe feeling a bit giddy at the aspect of his two friends, although it is a bit obvious that he was more interested in seeing Beth after months.

"Of course!" Natasha happily replied, feeling excited to see her favorite chess player whilst being stupidly unaware or perhaps still in denial of the not-so-friendly affection that Benny held for the former. 

Actually, the main topic of their discussion today was Borgov vs Harmon, with Beth coming in later to personally demonstrate and explain what happened. So, most of the discussions they are having right now are about Borgov and how he defeated different skilled people over the past years so that the impact Beth will give later in her discussion will be very strong. Yes, there was no denying that she was the star today and that all of this was done for her.

Unfortunately though, the star today turns out to actually have a different plan—a plan that doesn’t include going down to New York and actually interacting with fellow chess players. In the middle of the next discussion, Benny’s telephone suddenly rang as he got a phone call from Beth. At first, he seemed really happy that he got her call. Yet, just a few seconds in the call, his lovable smile that Natasha deeply admires suddenly turns into a frown. And although Benny tried to keep his conversation with Beth as silent as possible, Natasha still heard some part of it accidentally.

_ “You what? Beth!” Benny whispered, sounding a bit frustrated as he let out an exasperated sigh at Beth.  _

_ “Didn’t you say yesterday that you were already on your way here in New York?” _

_ “I was Benny, I was.”  _

_ Natasha could faintly hear the guilt in Beth’s voice, yet strangely, she couldn’t feel much sympathy for the girl.  _

_ “Then what’s this?” _

_ “Benny, this isn't on purpose! I wanted to, I just...” _

_ “You drank again didn’t it?”  _

_ “N-no, it’s not really…” _

_ “Beth, just stop. I’m tired of this.”  _

_ And Natasha could hear that he really does sound very tired as he said and perhaps even heartbroken about what happened.  _

Hanging up the call, Benny just vaguely announces to the other people in the room that Beth experienced an emergency of some sort so she wouldn’t be able to attend today and was sorry about it. Then after that, the rest of the discussion just passed by like a blur to Natasha and soon it was time for all of them to go home.

Yet despite that, Natasha couldn’t bring herself to leave. She knew that even though Benny seemed as engaged as before in the discussion, his head was elsewhere and his beautiful eyes now carried a hidden pain. 

Once everyone except her left, she slowly walked towards Benny and said, “Hey, are you okay Benny?”, her dark-green eyes tinted with worry for him. 

“What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine.” He replied as he put on a smile which didn't reach his ears.

“I know you are not.” Natasha rebuked him, surprising not only him but herself. 

“Benny, please don’t pretend to be okay when you are not.” She continued on despite her shaking resolve to speak.

“Natasha…” Benny softly mumbles her name as he stares at her, still a bit shocked that she noticed his small abnormality even when the other people in the room before didn’t notice. 

“I’m sorry for making you worry. Do you mind getting some drinks outside with me?”

As usual, Natasha couldn’t resist the male’s offer and soon she found herself inside of a bar drinking with him. Contrary to his usual image, Benny had totally lost his usual composure and aloofness. Instead, he was just there. Slowly drinking his beer in agony. Just trying to drown the bitterness inside his heart with the strong bitterness of a drink that he had once vehemently stated that he wasn’t really fond of. Really, just the sight of him doing so sends pangs on her heart. 

Even though Natasha and Beth never met before, she once had been very avid of the other female. After all, who wouldn’t admire such a talented and competitive chess champion? But now, she couldn’t help but feel the admiration she had for the other to become annoyance and hate. 

From the way Benny spoke with Beth on the phone, Natasha had the strong inkling that such happenings did not just happen now. Rather, there’s even a high chance that the male had cover up for Beth many times now. It really made Natasha remember her many so-called “almost” first meetings with Beth that suddenly got cancelled a few weeks or few days before the actual meetings. It must have been a hard experience for Benny Watts, especially since she knew he likes Beth—yes, she actually knew that for a while now and just didn’t want to admit. 

Sighing, he solemnly spoke to her. “I’m really stupid, aren’t I?” He said, chuckling bitterly to himself after saying so.

“I like to put this certain image to myself. Yet, look at me.” He paused for a few seconds, running his hand to his hair in frustration.

“I made a fool of myself again.”

Unsure of what to say, Natasha just silently spent the night listening to Benny’s sad rants and self-depreciation as he ponders how stupid he had been for letting someone he knew doesn’t care about him but still deeply care for trample over his feelings over and over again. Although he never said the name of this person, Natasha couldn’t be more sure that it was Beth. 

Then, after another series of rants and drinks, Benny suddenly paused. He reached out his long hands at her and swiped a strand of her hair to the side. Like usual, it immediately causes her breath to hitch and her heart to beat faster. But like a cold water being poured on her, she finally realized that whenever he did that, he was never really looking at her. Instead, he was dreaming of another who was not here. The main reason he looks terrible right now. 

She knows she shouldn’t.

She knows this isn’t the time for this.

Yet, her head rings loudly and her heart screams uncomfortably in her chest. Then, before she knew it, her mouth started saying extremely selfish thoughts that she never knew existed inside of her. 

“Why don’t you settle for me?”

Benny suddenly stopped his actions, looking at her cluelessly. Still unaware of her hidden thoughts about him. Natasha knew if she wanted their friendship to remain the same, she should stop. Yes, don’t let her emotions take control of her—yet, she still didn’t stop.

“You know, I’ll always be here. I’m not that good at playing chess but I am very knowledgeable so I can keep up with you and I...almost look the same.” She quickly spoke, her voice growing softer and cracking a bit in the end.

Looking up, she saw the male looking toward her with disbelief. And it was then that she finally realized what she had done—she just indirectly confessed her feelings to a guy who is not emotionally stable enough to receive one. 

Horrified by her own actions, she quickly blurted out “Never mind. I was just kidding.” before she rushly paid her drinks and began to walk away. 

However, she was too late. Before she could even get away, Benny held her wrist and stopped her.

Frantically, Natasha quickly mumbles small apologies and tries to get away, but Benny wasn’t planning to let her leave until he expressed himself too. 

“Natsha, calm down. I’m not angry.” He said, speaking a stone so reassuring that even he himself didn’t know he was capable of. 

“But, I don’t want to settle for you.”

Ah, this is it. She was rejected. She silently thought to herself as warm tears began to gather at the corner of her eyes.

“You are a great person Natasha. You much more than what you think you are, you are not someone people settle for.” He continued, his hands softly swiping a strand to the side again.

“I admit, you did remind me a lot of Beth and I used to think of her whenever I look at you.” Then, he stopped swiping her hair to the side and instead began to wipe the tears that almost fell on her cheeks—staring at her dark-green eyes that are so different from Beth, something just uniquely hers.

“But before I knew it, heck, I just realize it now, I started liking parts of you because it's you not because it resembles anyone else. I’m not sure if this is romantic love or if it's even possible for me to experience something like that, but if you don’t mind do you want to try? Try us without you being someone I settle for.” 

And of course, like usual, Natasha couldn’t resist him and his offer. 


End file.
